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Thursday, October 25, 2018

the floor test

you know your old
when you sit on the floor
and it takes you fifteen minutes
to get up

you know your really old
when you sit on the floor
and you don't even consider
getting up

you know your really, really old
when you stop sitting on the floor.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

in the blink of an eye...

Image result for sleep
so...what does it mean
when you are sleeping
and in your dream
you are being chased 
by a giant cartoon character

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because I did..
and its time for
an intervention


My name is Jannelle Stephens
and...
I have weird dreams...


I once had a dream
that I lived in Florida
actually...it was a nightmare...
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but seriously folks..
I lived in Florida
(in my dreams)
and there was an 
alien invasion...

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so I teamed up
with a group of people 
I have no idea
who
and we defeated the aliens
somehow...
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then credits rolled
in my dream....
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and a rock song played...
in my dream...
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then I woke up...

time travel...baseball...shopping
you name it 
I've dreamt it...

what are some of yours?
share in the comments


or in your dreams...
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Monday, August 27, 2018

The Mongoose

The mongoose is a small mammal with a huge amount of courage. They are the "security system" for many smaller mammals, such as ground squirrels, against the some of the deadliest snakes in the world. Black mambas, king cobras and others meet their match when coming upon a mongoose. Mongooses have lightening fast reflexes, extremely sharp teeth and an immunity to snake venom. However, the immunity is limited, so mongooses have to stay very alert when in a battle, usually with a snake two to three times it's size. The snake and the mongoose are both each other's prey and predator. Survival for the mongoose depends on staying alert at all times, and never hesitating to make the right choice in battle.
Image result for mongoose live where
Banded mongoose family groups are close-knit

The Warhorse

Horses are naturally timid creatures. With a good trainer, they can learn to be courageous and run excitedly into battle. First, however they need a human trainer they can trust. This person must look out for the best interest of the horse while training, taking his or her time to slowly acclimate the horse to the soldier's armor and rigors of a battle field. This takes a lot of patience and time.  Even after a horse is trained to go into battle, they will still have the instincts of a prey animal. However, with the correct training from the correct trainer, a horse can fight through this instinct to run, and become a warhorse.

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Ancient Chinese War Horse


Saturday, August 18, 2018

Why...

wHY DO PEOPLE
aSK A QUESTION
bUT THEN dON'T WAIT FOR THE aNSWER

wHY DOES mCdONALD'S
sELL BREAKFAST all DAY
bUT LUNCH ONLY AFTER ten AM

wHY DO mY TOENAILS
gROW SO LONG
bUT i CAN't GET MY HAIR PAST MY sHOULDERS

wHY CAN'T i GET 
mY CAPS lOCK key
tO WORK CORRECTLY...

Sunday, August 5, 2018

All in the family...

Time: 10pm

Family member A: *knocking* pause *knocking* shorter pause *knocking again*

Family member B: WHAT!!!?!

A: *laughing*

B: I'm sorry...I'm tired...

A: Do you have a funnel?

B: When did you get that burn?

A: We can't find one.

B: Find what?

A: A funnel..do you have a funnel?

B: When did you get burned?

A: A while back..so...do you have a funnel...?

B: *sigh*

Friday, August 3, 2018

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

My Father

My Father loves me
He takes the time 
To examine 
My heart
To search 
My mind
And exscind 
Crippling thoughts
❤❤
My Father trains me
He enlightens 
My actions
By showing 
Real love
Justice
And wisdom
Powerfully
❤❤
My Father saves me
From those who would
Harm my life
Whether by
Hardship
Torment
Or sore wounds
Inflicted alone
❤❤
My Father loves me.
My Father trains me.
My Father saves me.

Image result for father and daughter walking





Sunday, July 22, 2018

FACTS

When your nail technician says she should have gotten before and after pictures of your feet...

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Version 3.0: What Not To Say In Public

Customer Edition: The Saga of the $10 Coupon

Customer: I received a coupon for $10 off an item. Can I pay the difference?

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Retail Worker: (Stone face) 
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I have to make sure its under your account. You can't use someone else's account.

*silence*

Customer: It's my account I can give you the phone number. It's ###-###-####.

Retail Worker: That is not showing. I can't help you.

*confused*


Customer: But your company sent the coupon to my email address. How can I not be able to use it? That's the only reason I came in.

Ten minutes of arguing goes by. Customer is begining to lose her cool. 
Manager finally comes to the front.

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Retail Worker to Manager: She said a coupon was sent to her phone. We can't look up other numbers.

Customer: No, I said it was sent to my email address, not my phone. The email is just on my phone...(*Why...please...Why?*)


 Manager fixes transaction.

No apology from retail worker.

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Customer is finally able to buy bottle. For $00.31!!

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Arrives at home. Shaken, but exhilarated she got the bottle so cheap.

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 Customer to Sister after enthusiastically telling her the whole saga: But I finally got it for only 31 cents!!!

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*silence*

Sister to Customer: You know I have two bottles of that in the bathroom right?

*reaction*

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The End

Friday, July 20, 2018

A bit of poetry...no gagging please...

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Happiness


Is a goal
A dream 
A life's ambition
Many seek
but never find.

When do people stop seeking happiness,
what makes them give up.

Is attainable.
A reality.
A reward of a successfully lived life,
In giving to others,
And accepting real wisdom.